2015年4月26日星期日

BLACK DOG: Lucy raises the blood pressure 

Dog salutes BBC newsgirl Lucy Manning, right, for asking Ed Miliband if he was accusing David Cameron of having ‘blood on his hands’ after ludicrously blaming the PM for the drowned Libyan migrants.

She was treading in the hallowed footprints of legendary Mail on Sunday reporter Jonathan Oliver who asked Tony Blair if he had ‘blood on his hands’ after the suicide in 2003 of Dr David Kelly, who revealed the Iraq weapons dossier lies. Blair glared in silence. 

We all know why: the honest answer was ‘yes’.

Boris Johnson’s trip to Thanet South to challenge Nigel Farage turned into an Ealing Comedy after Bojo’s visit was mysteriously delayed en route. 

Tory officials claim Ukip protesters disguised as charity collectors from RNIB ambushed him at Ramsgate railway station. 

Boris was saved when the sharp-eyed station manager spotted bright purple Ukip posters sticking out of the dimwit Ukip rent-a-crowd’s pockets and told them to get knotted.

Natalie is more of a Moll flounders... 

Green leader Natalie Bennett, left, boasts her historical heroine is Moll Cutpurse, a 17th Century pickpocket who robbed passers-by outside St Paul’s Cathedral. Sounds like the sort of loony antics championed by the Green manifesto, which called for gender-neutral loos. 

Or maybe it’s because Cutpurse once rode a horse from Charing Cross to the East End in men’s clothing for a bet. 

A great way to keep carbon emissions down. 

Natalie Bennett claimed that her historical heroine is Moll Cutpurse who was a 17th century pickpocket 

Natalie Bennett claimed that her historical heroine is Moll Cutpurse who was a 17th century pickpocket 

Commons Speaker John Bercow is expected to take time out from his bid to retain his Buckingham seat to send a message of sympathy to Carol Mills, the Australian official he tried – and failed – to parachute into the key role of Commons clerk. 

Dog hears that Mills has been forced out of her post in the Australian parliament after allegations her department ‘spied’ on a Labour senator. 

Ed's Mystery Bus

Control freak Ed Miliband faces a revolt from reporters on the Labour battlebus. 

They are fed up missing key rallies when Red Ed is on a different bus or flies in ahead of them and is gone by the time they get there. 

Now they are threatening not to pay the £4,500 fee. ‘Even when we do get there on time, Labour spin doctors are so frightened of us getting a bacon sarnie-type photo, we are kept well away,’ fumes one hack. 

Journalists aboard Ed Miliband's battle bus are complaining they cannot get any access to the Labour leader

Journalists aboard Ed Miliband's battle bus are complaining they cannot get any access to the Labour leader

David Cameron’s enthusiastic glugging of £40-a-litre Sipsmith gin cocktail from a communal milk bottle passed round his chums in plus fours at a New Year’s Eve shoot in the Cotswolds – as revealed by this paper last week – is not the first time he has downed the posh person’s ‘mother’s ruin’. 

Jared Brown, the Sipsmith master distiller, reveals: ‘The PM keeps a couple of bottles in his fridge.’ If the polls don’t move, Dave may need to get several crates in. 



没有评论:

发表评论